I have a long way to go to truly be rid of you in myself. I have been pulling out the hooks and threads you left behind for years now. There have been times when I tried to offer you peace and a safe place to stay under my skin; thinking that this time I'll be okay with the fractured pieces I hide beneath the surface. By God's mercy and by God's grace you never welcomed my white flag. You kept me fighting, and in fighting you kept me from making the gravest mistake of my life; calling you home. I've traveled lifetimes from you, and the further I go...it never seems far enough.
I don't know how many times I've promised you safe passage through my mind, and I apologize for that. I'm not ready. Not until I rip you from my heart and shatter all influence you hold over me, and not until I can love without you on my shoulders.
Though I'm slowly finding strength, and growing increasingly more numb to you, I hate that even though you are gone, in many ways you're still right here.
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